


Through Life

by alafaye



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 07:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: After Dumbledore's death, extreme measures were taken to ensure Severus' loyalty and then later to give Harry what he needed to defeat Voldemort. Years after this, Kingsley asks Harry and Severus to work together to find a spy in the Ministry who has been giving information out to a new dark arts group. Harry's relationship with Draco has been suffering due to the new group, but working now with Severus puts more of a strain, not to mention the fact that Draco is to be married. When the spy is found and when Draco announces his engagement to Astoria Greengrass, Severus steps into Harry's life as a new, potentional partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [conzieu](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=conzieu).



> Originally posted [here](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/snape_potter/1009924.html) as part of the 2012 Secret Snarry Swap (hosted on LJ and DW as well as IJ) and written for conzieu.

"Your continued presence in my life continues to vex me, Potter," Snape sneered, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Ditto."

Snape sniffed at the word and turned to Kingsley. "I'm sure there is a good reason that you summoned us both here?"

Kingsley took a deep breath and nodded. "I find myself in the position of having a spy in the Auror department."

A heavy silence fell. Having a spy somewhere in the Ministry was bad enough, but one within the Aurors meant that The Herald knew them. The Herald--so called because they believed they were going to bring the Wizarding World back to its roots not just as a pureblood community but one which allowed the Dark Arts to be practiced--would know the moment a raid had been planned, would know who was being suspected, who was a sympathizer. 

"And it is from the Herald?" Snape asked quietly.

"All of our raids in the last month have been suspicious," Kingsley said. "Naturally, we apprehended several members and confiscated a good number of illegal potions, supplies, and items. However, looking over the places we raided, I realised that there had been empty spots where dust had not accumulated. Footsteps in mud that spoke of a hurried exit."

"Facts that could mean something else," Snape suggested.

Harry frowned and looked between his boss and Snape, wondering. Snape had a point, but Kingsley wouldn't have these suspicions if he hadn't thought of that already.

"Could be," Kingsley said. "Except for the raid the night before last."

"What raid?" Harry asked quickly. He had so far been part of the teams that had been tracking the Herald, but he hadn't heard of this particular raid.

"You asked for the night off, Harry," Kingsley said.

Harry flushed and looked away from Snape. Draco had wanted a night out and Harry had missed spending time with his boyfriend. He wouldn't have asked for the night off, but bringing down the Herald had taken up most of his free time. Knowing that he would have insisted on participating in the raid, he understood why he hadn't been told about it.

Snape chuckled and Harry had to push down the urge to throw something at Snape. After the date, Harry and Draco had returned to the Manor--his parents away on the continent--and ran into Snape who had been in collecting something or other that Lucius said he could borrow. He'd read their intent on their mussed clothes and swollen lips and pronounced them both adolescents who could not face reality.

"The report is probably on your desk, Harry," Kingsley said. "In short though, three of our Aurors are in critical care at St. Mungo's, being treated for hexes that we don't have treatment for. Another two had been given a week's leave--their injuries weren't as critical, but they do need the time to recover. Instead of the evidence we were hoping to get on those high up in the group, we found twenty members." He swallowed hard. "All of them escaped."

Harry sat back in his chair. "We were sure the evidence was there?"

Kingsley nodded. "We had solid reports. The fact is that we have a spy." He looked at Harry and Snape in turn. "I want you two to find him."

_October, Eight Years Ago_

"Dumbledore would have never allowed this!" Hermione yelled, hair more frazzled than usual and face pink with anger.

An unease fell over the group assembled in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. All of them were adults except for Harry and Hermione; Ron had not been told of the meeting because of his reaction to the subject. Severus stood in the back, eyes slitted, silent. Harry, similarly, was sitting with his back against the wall, watching. Neither of them had said a word since the meeting had been called to order though they both were the most likely to. Should be allowed to.

Remus had left some minutes ago, unable to add anything that would be helpful, unable to add anything that would not be coloured by his feelings toward Harry. Moody lifted his head and cleared his throat.

"Why don't we ask them?" he suggested quietly.

Snape shook his head. "I have no say in this. My fate rests entirely in your hands and what you wish to do to me, you will."

Hermione's hands clenched into fists as that subject was mentioned. Dumbledore had left specific memories to McGonagall that pardoned Snape from his murder, but rather than turn the memories over the Ministry, she left the Order view them. They had debated for weeks on what to do. They wouldn't turn the memories in to the Ministry as they suspected that Voldemort was close to taking over, but neither could they let the opportunity for a spy go. Mistrust though of Snape held some of them back.

In the end, they had offered Snape their resources to get him a pardon after the war in exchange for his information and that he agree to a spell that would alert the Order--specifically McGonagall--if he betrayed them.

Hermione's objection was sound, but unpopular. Though she disliked him, she disliked more that Snape's freedom had been essentially taken from him.

"Harry?" Moody asked.

Harry blinked away the memories and looked around the table. They were waiting to hear what he wanted to do, but he suspected that his opinion would not be under consideration. Hermione was right in a way--Dumbledore would certainly not have approved of the direction the Order had gone since his death. But that was war, Harry supposed. War changed people.

He shrugged. "Does it really matter?"

Snape clucked his tongue and pulled his robes tighter around himself. Hermione huffed. "We can't do this!"

"In days past, this was what was done," Flitwick said. "It was the only way."

"But we've changed," Hermione argued. "We're not that kind of society anymore."

"No, we are at war with a wizard who will stop at nothing to see Harry dead," McGonagall said quietly. "I dislike this myself, but He Who Will Not Be Named will be after Harry and if we can give Harry the resources to stop You-Know-Who, then we should."

Silence fell. McGonagall cleared her throat. "Let's put it to a vote. All of those in favour? And those not?" She nodded. "Very well. Harry, Severus--I'll meet you in the library shortly to discuss the spell."

~~~

McGonagall placed a book on the table in the centre of the library and opened it to a page she must have memorized. "This dates back to Ancient Greece. On Crete, young boys were apprenticed to learn a trade. Specifically, we are looking at the spell used by the warriors. Prior to the Romans, the warriors on Crete were second to none. Many attributed this to the spell used by the warriors. This spell was used when the apprentice came of age--sixteen--that would supplement his magic from the very elements and even, to an extent, the seasoned warrior."

"But then wouldn't that take from the older one?" Harry asked.

"The spell would then give back that energy from the elements," McGonagall said, "but the warrior's magic would be older, more trained. It would give the young men a measure of control and some experience, though they had to learn of course how to wield it."

"Sex magic," Snape said.

McGonagall frowned. "I'm sorry, Severus."

Harry raised an eyebrow and Snape sniffed. "Never mind, Potter."

"So, is this a one-time thing?" Harry asked.

"It could have been," McGonagall said. She turned the book so they could look at it. "They were often in battle together, watching over each other. Many of them would then use the spell after a battle to keep their bond strong and to strengthen the younger man."

Harry licked his lips. "W-what about us?"

"I'll be the one to determine that," Snape said. "I'll be closest to you and will know how much your magic has grown. I'll know if it is enough to match the Dark Lord."

"No," Harry said, turning to McGonagall. She looked away. "He'll just use it to keep me coming back so he could bully me!"

"Potter!" Snape said in a deadly tone. "I would no more wish to spend time with such an ungrateful brat, but I certainly would never derive any enjoyment from a boy whose response to so called bullying is anger and spells that he does not the full power of."

Harry winced at the reminder of his Sectumspemra. Snape carried on despite this. "What's more, I resent the implication that I would in any way enjoy the fumblings of a seventeen year old virgin! I would have preferred someone older who does not have to be shown the ways of love."

Harry blushed furiously. "And you would know? I'm sure no one ever wanted to have sex with you, you greasy bat!"

"Gentlemen!" McGonagall said fiercely. "That is enough. I know you do not get along, but you must learn to. In order for this spell to work, you have to be on friendly terms. Samhain is approaching, the perfect time to begin, and I expect you to be ready. Am I clear?"

They both nodded, each chastised, and she tapped the book. "I leave it in your hands, gentlemen."

~~~

_Samhain_

Harry was nervous. Severus had been right--he was a virgin. Better for the spell, but Harry had hoped his first time would be under...different circumstances. He swallowed hard and knocked on Severus' doors at Order headquarters.

"Enter," Severus drawled.

Harry wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, let out a breath, and opened the door. No one else was here tonight except two members of the Order, ready to call for help if anything interrupted the ritual. The last weeks, Harry and Severus had spent more than enough time screaming and throwing hexes at each other and then talking and becoming more comfortable with each other. They wouldn't ever be friends, but they certainly were close enough that the spell should work.

Harry hoped so. He would hate to think that his first time would be wasted like this if it failed.

He closed the door and turned to face Severus. The room was lit only with the fireplace and the bed covers had been turned down. Severus was barefoot, wearing simple trousers and a button up, the three top buttons open. 

"On time, Harry, I'm impressed," Severus said.

Harry rolled his eyes and toed off his shoes. He stumbled and caught himself with a blush. In only a few strides, Severus crossed the room and straightened Harry fully. He smiled as he pushed Harry's shirt up. "Don't be nervous."

Harry lifted his arms and his shirt was pulled away. He fixed his glasses and crossed his arms, cold now. "Easy for you to say."

Severus cleared his throat and began to unbutton his own shirt. "I remember my first time--consider yourself lucky, Harry. I will be gentle no matter what you may still think of me, but there are many men who would not be so kind."

Harry looked away, not wanting to get into the old argument. He wouldn't say he was straight, not any more. One of their first conversations had centred around that--Harry had known what gay meant, that it was okay. But he'd never known anyone who was gay, either growing up on Privet Drive or at Hogwarts. At least, that he knew of. It was something abstract to him. Severus had forced his eyes open, making him consider that he could possibly be something not straight.

Harry still wasn't sure--the idea that he could like just women or just men or both was only a few weeks old. Now he was about to have sex for the first time with a man after years of not even thinking himself straight; he just thought of dating women. That that was just...the way it was.

Severus sighed. "I am sorry for this, Harry."

"Nothing you could have done," Harry said.

Severus steered Harry toward the bed. "Do you need help removing your trousers and pants?"

Harry blushed, but Severus hadn't been teasing. This side of his former professor had been new and odd, but was comforting now. "I've got it." Harry unbuttoned his trousers and pulled them off as well as his pants and then his socks. When he looked up again, Severus was naked and Harry tried to look anywhere else.

Severus sighed. "Harry."

Harry looked up and Severus sat on the bed. "You remember what you have to do?"

They'd spent the last several days reviewing the spells, repeating the words silently without meaning. Going through the steps. When the spell would need to be said. How Harry would need to mean the rite. How to open himself to elements. 

Harry nodded at Severus.

Severus pointed his wand at the French doors and a cool breeze blew in. It's raining, lucky for them, and a potted plant is sitting near the windows. "Ready?" Severus asked.

"As I can be, I suppose."

_Present_

Severus was standing by the fireplace when Harry arrived at the Manor. Draco and his parents were nowhere to be found.

"Anything, Potter?" Severus asked. 

Harry had been held back at the Ministry, trying to find out if a secretary was in any way part of the leak. In the end, Harry had had to sneak some Veritaserum in her tea. "Agnes Thomas is loyal to the Ministry," Harry said. "She isn't leaking information either deliberately or on accident."

Severus nods. It's only been a month, but already, Harry remembers exactly why he had ever felt comfortable spending time with Severus. They hadn't ever really become friends, but they had been familiar with each other. They continued the easy conversations they developed to aid the spell the first time and Harry had quickly come to admire Severus for his strengths and skills. His morals, his philosophies, his preferred way to have a social life--small as it was--were certainly ones Harry didn't see in anyone else, but he was comfortable with them.

In fact, of everyone Harry knew, though it was difficult to say, Harry was most familiar and comfortable with Severus. Especially now that they were working again. This was the exact reason Kingsley had them investigating this matter--they worked well together, true, but also because they _knew_ each other.

He shook his head, amazed at the turn of his thoughts. "So that leaves only the Auror department."

"As we suspected," Severus said.

Harry nodded and crossed the room to the bar that Lucius always kept stocked. He poured himself a firewhiskey--a taste he developed only by dating Draco--and took a deep breath. "Where are the Malfoys?"

Severus raised a sardonic eyebrow. "You must ask?"

Harry frowned. "What do you mean?"

Severus took a sip of his own drink and crossed his arms. "As though that would be obvious, Potter. They are, as ever, discussing Draco's and the Malfoy family's future."

Harry took a sharp breath. "Again?"

"Potter, they will never cease discussing it." Severus refreshed his drink. "You must understand that purebloods like the Malfoy's live as moneyed, titled, landed Muggles did in the 1700s. Everything is to increase their wealth, their social value, keeping it with the family. If Draco had been born a woman, he'd be married already. Likely with a child."

"That's--"

"The way it is. I believe I heard Lucius mention the youngest Greengrass girl who is going to be graduating in only a few months. There are several other pureblood families who have their eye on her."

"That's cruel."

"That's the way they are."

Harry shook his head. He had some vague understanding that Draco was supposed to be getting married soon, have children, but Draco had not kept their relationship a secret. Harry had nurtured some kind of hope that he and Draco would maybe one day be married to each other. Adopted their own children or maybe use a surrogate if Draco wanted.

"You think you'll be married to Draco," Severus said quietly. He sounded amazed, but also worried.

Harry stared into his drink, tilting the glass back and forth. "Maybe in the future."

"Harry," Severus said quietly. He started toward Harry, but a door down the hall opened. 

Draco stormed into the room, face dark. Lucius and Narcissa followed at a more discreet pace. All of them looked upset and Harry knew then that they had been discussing exactly what Severus said they were.

"Dinner should be ready," Draco gritted out. He grabbed Harry's hand, then his drink--the drink was quickly gone as Draco tossed it back. "Let's eat."

~~~

Harry pulled at his temples, feeling a headache coming on. He wondered if Severus had any potion on hand for it. In front of him were three files--one for each of their final suspects. All of them long time employees of the Ministry and not a single one had ever been under suspicion, done anything to jeopardize their career; not a single one had a criminal record or vague background or questionable families. All of them married, with children. One had grandchildren.

All of them were on the team to bring down the Herald.

A vial was thrust into his face and he looked up. Severus raised an eyebrow. "Headache potion."

Likely without fever few--Harry was one of a few that was allergic to it. Severus wouldn't be the sort to give anyone any potion they were allergic to; it was why he had never decided to run a business selling potions. That Severus would be giving this to Harry spoke volumes of their renewed relationship such as it was.

"Thanks," Harry said. He swallowed the potion and set his glasses on his desk.

"It's never easy when a spy is exposed," Severus said. "It is likely often not one you could ever see as a spy."

Harry looked over the files, the pictures, the details. "How can we be sure that we didn't miss some important detail in the others?"

"That is how one becomes paranoid, Harry," Severus said. He sat and crossed his arms over his chest. "We have made pages of notes that I have kept carefully hidden. We can be sure that it is one of these three."

Harry leaned back and studied the ceiling of Severus' study. "I just don't understand what would motivate a person to do something like this."

"Though we have so many details on them, we are clearly missing something," Severus said. "Some little thing that motivates them enough."

Harry was out of ideas--what their motivation could be, how they could find the spy, how to stop the spy. But then, they had been chasing down the spy the last four months. Not an easy feat, not when Harry was also balancing tracking down the Herald and Draco pulling further and further away.

"We need a break," Harry muttered. 

Severus chuckled. "No rest for the wicked?"

Harry raised his eyebrow. "We've been chasing this for weeks! If I'm getting paranoid, it isn't without good reason."

Still, at least the company had been good, Harry reasoned. If he had to be teamed with anyone, he was glad it had been Severus. He wondered at the change in himself, toward Severus. In the years since the war, Harry had opened himself to relationships, decided to be limited by any one definition. He had dated women as well as men; some based on sex and others emotions. His relationship with Draco was only one of a few that was both. Now, as that relationship strained under Draco's familial demands, Harry found himself wanting more time with Severus.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had tried to not think about the state of his romantic life, but he couldn't deny what was happening. His familiarity, comfort, friendship with Severus was deepening into more.

He wasn't sure what to think of that. 

"Harry?"

Harry blinked away his thoughts. "Severus?"

Severus tilted his head. "Perhaps when we are done, Kingsley will grant you a few weeks of time off?"

Unhelpfully, Harry's mind supplied him with images of what that time off could be spent doing and with whom. His body reacted to the images and scrubbed his face. "Let's just...focus on finding this spy. The sooner found, the sooner we can relax, yes?"

~~~

"Harry," Draco said. He sounded strained and upset. A little angry, too.

Harry dusted ash from his shoulders and looked around the room. "Everything alright?"

Draco smiled tightly. "Perfect."

Harry took a deep breath and sat next to Draco on the couch. "Your parents?"

Draco chuckled ruefully. "When isn't it?" He tossed back a swallow of his drink and his head fell back on the sofa. "They invited Astoria Greengrass to dinner last night."

Harry's stomach tightened and he found himself wishing for his own drink. Draco reached up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Her parents were also there."

Harry's eyes closed and he sat back on the sofa. "So that's that. They were never going to accept me, us. Were they?"

Draco snorted and looked at Harry. He clucked his tongue and shook his head. "No matter that you saved us all from that mad man or how much social value you possess, Potter, you will always be decidedly a half blood _wizard_."

"We could have used a surrogate!" Harry said.

"St. Mungo's never will tell you if the surrogate is a pureblood and you are not allowed to ask!" Draco said. "It's against the law!"

"But it's perfectly legal to allow purebloods to marry their daughters off after they graduate!" Harry snorted.

"Most of us are betrothed when we're born." Draco tossed back the rest of his drink. "I was engaged to another girl from a more prominent family, but when they were sentenced to Azkaban, the betrothal was broken off. Astoria was in a similar position."

"Both of you were betrothed from birth?"

Draco smirked. "Now you're catching on."

Harry clenched his hands in his fists and he tightened his jaw. "What about us?"

"We're over," Draco said. He rested his head back again, looking for all the world like he'd given up.

Harry felt something break inside him. Draco was never going to fight for them; he was going to marry the girl his parents picked out for him and have an heir. As though the last two years had been...

"Why?" he asked quietly.

Draco hummed. "Why what?"

"If you knew what you parents wanted, if you were never going to fight them, why...start a relationship?"

Draco smiled. "I was only looking for a bit of fun when we got together. Just a night of sex."

Harry swallowed down his tears. "And then?"

"What do you mean, and then? You were a good lay, Potter."

"That was it?"

Draco looked over at Harry and frowned. He sighed and put his glass on the side table. He tried to reach out to Harry, but Harry drew away, even stood up to put distance between them. Draco raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me it meant more to you than that, Harry. Sure, it was fun and I do enjoy spending time with you, but it was never really meant to last forever."

Harry shook his head. "I can't...two years, Draco. It's been two years and all of it was just...friends with benefits?"

"Is that a Muggle term? No, never mind. If it means friends who have sex, then yes."

"Bull shit."

"What?"

Harry took a jagged breath and lifted his chin. "I don't know what it mean for you, but I--"

"Go."

"What?"

Draco pointed at the fireplace. "Leave. Now. We're over, I'm getting married, and you can get on doing whatever it is you want to do with your life."

"I wanted to have a future with you!"

Draco shook his head. "Leave, Potter. Whatever you thought we could have had, whatever you thought we did have--it's nothing. Never was."

"You cold hearted pureblood bastard!" Harry grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw it into the fireplace. He was crying when he stumbled out of the Floo into his own home.

~~~

"You're sure?" Kingsley looked between them both, face filled with shock and betrayal.

Harry could understand. He had worked with Mellaw since he had joined the Aurors--he was a contributing member of the community, had never caused any trouble, was a team player, had grandchildren with another on the way. He was well liked by everyone. It shouldn't be possible, but it was.

"You have the evidence before you," Severus said. "Our visual reports, audio, bank statements."

Kingsley sat back and shook his head. "I can't believe it. Why?"

"Money," Harry said. "His youngest son made a few bad bets some years back and is struggling to put his kids through school."

"Is that enough?" Kingsley said. He sighed. "Thank you. Both of you. Harry, I've spoken with your superiors--as soon as we have the Herald's leaders and high ups in custody, you have three weeks' vacation. Mandatory vacation. Am I understood?"

Harry nodded. "Thanks, sir."

"You've earned it," Kingsley said. "Don't think I haven't noticed you've needed it."

Harry flushed. Kingsley turned to Severus. "When this is all said and done, I'll send you payment for your services."

"It was quite the diversion," Severus said. "Is that all?"

Kingsley nodded and they left his office. Outside, in the small hallway between the office and the secretary's, they paused.

"So," Harry said. "That's that."

"Three weeks' vacation," Severus said. "That's quite the amount of time. I don't suppose you'll spend it with Draco?"

Draco's wedding announcement to Astoria Greengrass had been in the papers at the beginning of the week. Harry hadn't told Severus that he and Draco had broken up the week before--not that apparently there was anything to be broken up. Harry bit his lip. "Ah, no. I won't be."

Severus' face softened, just a fraction, and if they hadn't been working so closely together, Harry would have missed it. "I suppose Draco was his usual cold dismissive self?"

Harry half smiled. "You could say that."

Severus hummed. "If...you ever...wish to talk about it, I'll listen."

"How uncharacteristic of you," Harry said. "But thank you. I might take you up on that."

Severus inclined his head a fraction. "How then do you plan to spend your vacation?"

"I might just spend it on my own at home," Harry said. "I've found it can be rather peaceful and it might help me get myself in order."

Severus hummed. "I was surprised by how mature you've become Harry. How much you've come into your abilities and skills and not just as an Auror whose business it is to discover the hidden."

Harry blushed. "Well, I do have you to thank. After all, it was your guidance that laid the groundwork."

Severus bowed his head in acknowledgement.

~~~

Harry shifted from foot to foot outside Severus' home. In his hand was a bottle of Muggle scotch--Severus' preferred drink. In the other was a bag of take away. He hoped Severus was home, never mind would welcome Harry in.

The front door opened with a sharp crack. "Get in here, you fool. You're making the wards vibrate with your nervousness."

Harry gulped and went in. He half smiled and chuckled weakly. "Nerves, huh? Sometimes they just get you."

Severus hummed and led the way to the back of the house where a small table sat inside the kitchen. "Tea? I'm sure the scotch would be better served after dinner."

"Tea would be lovely," Harry said. He took the food out of the bag and put the scotch bottle on the counter. Severus set out plates, silverware, and put the kettle on. In short order, they were sitting down, enjoying the food.

"Are you on vacation, yet?" Severus asked.

Harry took a sip of his tea to wash down his bite. "Almost. Just one more trial to get through--they want my testimony and it would be better if I didn't come in when I'm not supposed to be there. I start this coming Monday."

Severus nodded. "And do you still plan to spend it on your own?"

Harry raised his eyebrows. Severus had never been this interested in Harry's life. He would be polite and make small talk, but unless Harry volunteered information, they rarely talked of anything beyond work or the weather or little inane topics.

"Did you have something in mind?"

Severus blushed. "I had wondered if perhaps you might like to come visit me here, once or twice. Or I know of a few places that are beautiful this time of year."

Harry looked at Severus closer and found that Severus seemed...anxious almost. "Severus?"

Severus narrowed his eyes and cleared his throat. "It was merely a suggestion. Think nothing of it."

Harry smirked. "Just a suggestion?"

Severus gave Harry a look that was completely sardonic. "If this was how you behaved with Draco, it is no wonder that he--"

Harry's breathing had stuttered and he looked away from Severus, at the kitchen, at his plate. Anywhere else but at Severus. The hurt in his heart was healing, but it was slow and now the holidays were approaching and Mrs. Weasley had sent him a letter asking if he was going to be bringing Draco along this year again. 

"I'm sorry," Severus said quietly.

"It's fine," Harry said, equally quiet.

A clock chimed the hour somewhere in the house, echoing down to them and making the silence there worse. "I saw Draco the other day," Severus said. "I mentioned that you were soon wrapping up the case. He didn't ask after you."

Harry let out a breath that had been meant as a laugh. "Of course he didn't."

"Can I ask as you both are close to me--what happened?"

Harry looked up and found Severus studying him. Harry set his fork down and leaned forward on his elbows. "Draco said...he told me that it had only been a bit of fun. He and I--it was just sex and then just friends having sex. I thought we might one day have future together where he refused to do what his parents wanted." Harry held up his hand when Severus opened his mouth. "I know, I know. Stupid of me, yeah? I just thought...but I guess I thought wrong. Draco set me right on that account. I was delusional the entire time."

Severus sighed. "Harry, I know it is difficult and how Draco acted...I don't believe even Lucius approved how Draco treated you."

Harry jerked his head up to look Severus in the eye. Severus nodded. "Lucius may not have approved of you as a suitable partner for Draco, but Lucius disliked that Draco had ever begun a relationship with you. Or that it was broken off just days before the wedding announcement."

Harry groaned and rubbed his face. "I should've known better. Draco isn't a coward, but he sure acts like one when there's someone with a stronger will around."

"Easily cowed, yes. That is Draco to a T." Severus half smiled. "He's always been like that. I'm only sorry you got caught up in it."

"Are you saying you could have prevented this?"

Severus snorted. "As though anyone could have stopped you."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Was that an insult or compliment?"

"Depends on the situation," Severus said. "In this instance...it was an insult. No, Harry, please. It's only that Draco would never have stayed with you. Lucius has a hold over him and if Lucius was bent on Draco marrying a pureblood witch then that was what Draco was going to do."

"More fool me then." Harry curled his hands around his tea cup. "I guess I just--"

"You are the sort of man who wants a relationship," Severus said. "Nothing wrong with that, of course. It's not a terrible person to be. However, you do not hold back. You jump, head first, and devout yourself to every task whether it is work or love."

Harry had forgotten how bluntly honest Severus was. It hurt and Harry wished that Severus would just shut up, but someone needed to say it, he supposed. And over time, Harry had learned to trust Severus when he spoke. It was usually helpful information and advice.

"So I should be more cautious next time?" Harry asked.

"Perhaps be aware of your partner's wants and intentions. Best to know from the outset what he or she is looking for so you know where the future might lead. It can change, of course, we all change. But knowing where each of you wishes to go, you will be better able to handle the relationship."

Harry half smirked. "I never took you as a man wise about relationships."

"Spy, remember? I know people, Harry, and that includes their relationships."

Harry hummed. "What about your own?"

"Hm?"

"Your relationships--have they all been good? Bad?"

"The sum of my relationships has been less than a handful and all of them with the intention of not lasting. I am not expert on my own relationships."

Harry turned back to his meal, turning the words over in his mind. "Have you ever been in love before?"

Severus stopped and Harry looked up. Severus looked caught off guard, just a little. He swallowed. "I...yes, I have. I must say, though, that while it can be unpleasant as it causes several interesting chemical reactions in the brain and body and rational thought to become difficult, I enjoy it. Though it...was only the once. I am not closed off to the possibility of it again."

Something like hope bubbled up inside Harry. He chastised himself--Severus was an acerbic, closed off man. Harry had only just gotten out of a relationship. Still...

"So, what places did you have in mind for my vacation?"

~~~

"Hogsmeade?" Harry asked when they arrived.

"The students have left for the break," Severus said. "It will be quiet."

It was snowing and there was a sharp chill to the air. Still, Harry had missed the village and he did still need to get a few gifts. He smiled. "Thank you."

Severus blushed. "You're welcome."

They started at one end, walking through the snow and getting warm in the shops. Admiring the little gifts and displays, sampling chocolate and trying new items from Zonko's. Harry found himself, though, more than once standing closer to Severus than he normally would have. There had been once where he almost had reached out to grab Severus' hand and drag him to see a particularly inspiring display.

"You are unusually quiet," Severus remarked as they started toward The Three Broomsticks. There was a special on a new spiced cider and they did need to get a bite to eat.

Harry blushed. "Just enjoying this."

"Good. I'm glad." Severus' hand reached out and touched Harry's. "I remember you were rather enamoured of the village when you attended school."

Harry cautiously tangled their fingers together. "I loved coming here," Harry said, "especially around Christmas. The displays are beautiful."

"They are," Severus said. "I am not entirely comfortable with the holidays, but the effort and charm work that goes into the decorations are very inspiring."

"Like mistletoe," Harry says as he happens to catch sight of a branch dangling from one of the shop signs.

Severus clucked his tongue. "Trite tradition."

"I like it. I mean, obviously no one should have to kiss, but I don't understand why it's some kind of embarrassment."

"You mean you've never been caught out with someone you'd rather not kiss publicly?"

Harry shrugged. "Not really. I don't see why I should be bothered. A kiss is a kiss."

Severus hummed and said nothing more about it, but he also didn't pointedly avoid the mistletoe. In fact, when they were under it, he stopped them. His cheeks coloured. "I have tried not to be too forward, considering our past and your last relationship, but I find myself--"

Harry kissed him. He knew how uncomfortable Severus was and Harry had spent one too many nights recently thinking about kissing Severus again. Now there was mistletoe and Severus clearly wanted Harry and it really wasn't terrible. After all, Severus was an excellent kisser.

Severus smiled weakly, but his eyes were soft when the kiss ended. "I am glad to know that you continue to understand me."

Harry cupped his cheek and pulled him down for another kiss. "I've been wanting to do that for weeks."

Severus rested his forehead against Harry's. "Months, Harry. Months."

"And you said nothing," Harry whispered.

"You were with Draco," Severus said. "And I had thought you considered me still to be your old potions professor with whom you were forced to spend time with during the war."

Harry shook his head. "You are so much more than that."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand where it was still wrapped up in his own. "I am ever so lucky. Come. Let's skip lunch at the tavern and go back to my home. It's more...private."

Harry beamed. Private was good. He wrapped an arm tight around Severus' waist and kissed him as they spun away to Spinner's End.


End file.
